My dad is a man of few words, except for all those times when he has sudden epiphanies and decides to share them out with us. These "dad-isms" are quite frequent, and contain barbed and often sarcastic quips that wouldn't seem out of place in a sitcom. So for my dad's birthday this year (which is today by the way!), I decide to compile a list of the things he most frequently says; from personal grooming, to life and his observations about everything around him.
#10 "When I was your age..."
One of the rare times my dad actually admits that he's getting old, and that his "experience" and "years of eating salt" will prove me wrong all the time.
#9 "Is my double chin showing?"
My dad cares a lot about his appearance, so much so that he worries about the pouch forming below his chin every single time he eats, despite there not being one in the first place.
#8 "Go ask mom."
The age old answer to any of my requests. I suspect it's their way of training me to be independent, because I can never a straight answer from either one of my parents.
#7 "How's my hair?"
Yet another personal grooming quip my dad loves to say. This question is usually followed by a request for the comb he keeps in my mom's handbag. True story.
#6 "Whatever rocks your cradle."
My dad's sarcasm is something not to be trifled with. He keeps it under wraps for most of the time, but when he gets into the sarcasm groove, he really lets you have it. This is his standard answer for almost any argument.
#5 "I've got to toughen you up for the real world."
My dad, the realist.
#4 "Let's go home. I'm tired."
Yet another time my dad displays a rare sign that he's getting older. "My body is not what it used to be." he would sigh, as he trudged on sullenly through the shopping mall.
#3 "Because I said so."
My dad is a man of principle, and if you go against him on any of his set principles, you're gonna have a verbal lashing, followed by this gem of a quote. usually signalling your defeat.
#2 "Do you think I print money?"
Me: "Dad! I'm going out now with my friends. Can I have RM50?"
My dad: "YOU THINK I BANK NEGARA AH? PRINT MONEY FOR YOU TO USE AH?" *hands over RM50* "DON'T COME BACK SO LATE."
#1 "This Twitter thing is quite nice."
My dad is an avid user of Twitter. He uses it to stalk me, and follow the current news. He's still trying to figure out the difference between retweets and favorites.
Since I'm in Japan now, I won't be able to celebrate my dad's birthday with him. But I know that when he reads this post, he's gonna get so angry that I used his picture in my blog again. This is probably what he'll say, complete with facial expression.
Happy birthday dad! Your hair is fine and your double chin is not showing. And you look mighty fine in all the pictures above. Don't worry. You'll get a lot of likes.
P.S: Here's an awesome gif version of my dad's "Dad-isms".
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