Wednesday, April 23, 2014

My (Brief) Time at the MILO Malaysia Breakfast Day 2014

I have written previously about the MILO Malaysia Breakfast Day, an event that gathers a large collection of people together to celebrate the joy that is the most important meal of the day. Of course, a celebration of breakfast could only mean one thing: waking up at the crack of dawn on a Sunday morning, something I hadn't, and couldn't have done in a while. 

Because I wasn't about to go to a breakfast without my friends, I dragged along Bugger ECF and Ah Sou MinMin. I say dragged because I literally dragged them out of their beds and plopped them into my car and drove us to the faraway land of Putrajaya where the MILO Breakfast Day was held. They weren't too happy, until I promised them an unlimited amount of MILO. That really got their attention.

I was greeted at Perbadanan Putrajaya by the hyper MILO Positive Energy Squad, who had letters spelling out "POSITIVE" on the front of their shirts. Unfortunately, their routine kinda messed up their spelling a little.

V..E..O..P..T?

I was late to the party, so I didn't get to see the flag off for the MILO Fun Run, or get to join in, which I (much) later found out I could. It was the beginning of a lot of bad decisions I would be making throughout the day.


So instead of running the race, I went to drown my sorrows with cup after cup of icy cold MILO.


Yup, there were literal MILO trucks lined up along the whole area, just waiting to give you the chocolatey ichor of goodness to get you all happy and energized for the rest of the event.

I didn't get to see the flag off, but I wouldn't miss the participants of the run finishing the race. Typical of my tardy self, I reached the finish line late, long after the first guy crossed the line. I did manage to catch a picture of this guy reaching the finishing line like a boss. It's the only nice picture I have of someone finishing the race.


And I saw the same guy again a while later, lining up for his cup of MILO. It wasn't even intentional because I was just snapping a picture of the people standing in line waiting for their MILO. I only noticed it as I was working on this blog post.


And speaking of long lines, the massive crowd that gathered to celebrate breakfast were too much to handle for the MILO trucks. Look at that cute baby in the picture below, sitting in his stroller and cutting in line for his cup of MILO. But everyone else let him, because he's Malaysian, he's a baby and he's adorable. No one says no to a baby. You will grow up well, kid.


But of course, long lines at the MILO trucks meant that I couldn't get my MILO as fast as I wanted to. So my next plan was to hijack a MILO truck all for myself. No, I'm serious. My serious need to drink MILO made me come up with an irrational plan to hijack a MILO truck and serve myself the MILO instead of waiting for the super friendly MILO truck attendant to do it for me.

I'll say this: I am not cut out to be a MILO truck attendant. #failsatlife



Must...show...joy...


I pretty much overdosed on MILO, drinking way too many cups in a short amount of time. It's safe to say that I probably won't be drinking MILO for a long, long time to come.


The other activities at the MILO Breakfast Day (other than MILO trucks) included watching little kids try to bring out their inner champion in mini games designed to frustrate adults while keeping the kids entertained. Every MILO advertisement is about bringing the champion out of your kids, and if anything, these kids are true champions at winning basketball, football and freaking badminton.

That's a kid's version of the three pointer. 

As I left, hyped up from the MILO and wanting to do something absolutely insane, I decided to haul down the giant MILO balloon from up in the sky just to show people I had the energy to go further. I yanked down the balloon and was promptly escorted out of the premises by the security guards.

Well no, that last part isn't true. But I still pulled down the freaking MILO balloon and DIDN'T (but almost) fly off with it.


You can be sure I'll be there for next year's MILO Breakfast Day, this time, hopefully doing more useful things like running in the Fun Run and not hijacking MILO trucks.

Cheerios!
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Monday, April 21, 2014

Running Mondays Flowchart: How Hilarious Is This Episode of Running Man?



Another Monday, another Running Mondays post! Many people have been saying that they don't know which Running Man episode is the funniest. Well, that question will no longer be valid once you have this handy little flowchart. I don't know how excited you are about flowcharts, but here's one to help you gauge if the current Running Man episode you're watching is funny or not. 

Spoiler: They're all hilarious. Trust me. 


You can also check out the first Running Mondays flowchart here: http://leonhart90.blogspot.com/2013/11/are-you-enjoying-this-episode-of-running-man-flowchart.html

Cheerios!
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Thursday, April 17, 2014

How I Got My 2048 Highscore

My finger swiped across the screen; left, right, right, left, up. The sound of jangling bells accompanied each swipe, a loud, reverberating clang echoed across the empty room. My soaked fingers left a glistening trail of sweat across the screen as my nerves began to fray. Swipeswipe. Swipe. Swipe.


46.

I was playing the latest gaming fad to hit bored people who were looking for another game to take over the Flappy Bird-shaped hole in their hearts. 2048 is a deceptively simple game; all one has to do is swipe the screen in 4 directions and match numbers until they achieve the titular 2048. 2048 is so hard to get that one single mistake may cost you a thousand tries to even get anywhere near it.

It's the Sasquatch of numbers.

957.

Why am I even playing this game? I hate numbers, I hate math and I hate puzzles. I hate multiplying anything that isn't money. I hate a game that requires me to use my brain for more than 10 seconds. I hate trying to figure out this nonsense. DAMMIT 2048 I HATE YOU SO MUCH PLEASE COME TO ME.

3290.

Okay. I'm digging myself into a grave of numbers. I knew a day would come when I would be able to say that. Hey Miss Chan, I TOLD YOU SO. MATH WILL KILL ME ONE DAY AND TODAY IS THAT DAY.

5721.

Swipeswipe. Swipe. Swipeswipe. Swipe. I don't know why I'm saying "swipe" out loud.

16320.

Holy cruds I did it. I finally got my elusive number. 2048.


I don't know what this feeling is called but I think it's something akin to a brain orgasm. Hours and hours sweaty, sweaty swiping up and down, up and down, left and right and finally 2048 came. Wow. That last sentence was just LOADED with sexual innuendo.

20108.

I can't believe it. I beat the game. I beat the game! I've never wanted to beat a game so hard as much as as I wanted to beat this one. "Oh yeah!", I yelled to no one in particular, "I am the king of numbers!"


"No you're not. You stole those screenshots from my Facebook." an indignant voice sounded through the computer screen. "Those are MY HIGH SCORES!"

"Play smart, not hard." I replied nonchalantly, settling back onto my swivel chair and swiveling away, because that's what you do when you own a swivel chair and want to win an argument.

"I'm going to throw my Shneep at you, you stupid person."

No spelling error. She literally spells it as Shneep. Elie Lam, ladies and gentlemen.

"Meh." I replied, pausing only slightly to let the hilariousness of my pun sink in. Man, I am SO good at this. Not that my pun worked on anyone. Elie was already back to her game, determined to go beyond 2048 because she's insane. Swipeswipeswipe. Swipe. Swipe.

Cheerios!
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Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Bento Live: A New Way to Watch Free TV

If you're really into Japanese food, like I am, you'll definitely know what a bento is. Basically, a bento is a box shaped container of food with plenty of different variety of dishes stored inside, usually on a take-out basis because of how convenient and simple it all is. But why am I describing this simple marvel called a bento to you? Mostly because I'm here to share something new, something which is quite related to a bento, but not. Don't make sense to you? Just read on.

It'll make more sense in a while.

See I'm quite a die-hard TV fanatic. I can just plop myself on the couch, flip on the TV and scroll through channels for an entire day. But my main competitor is my grandma, who spends an average of 14 hours a day watching her TVB dramas. This leaves me without a TV to watch my shows on. That is, until a friend of mine recommended that I use a tablet or my laptop to watch shows.

"What is this modern witchcraft?!" I remember telling him, "You can watch shows ON THE GO now?"

"Yes," he replied with a sigh, "it's been around for the past few years." He then introduced me to a Bento Live, a multi-deviced platform where I could stream and watch shows for free. FREE. That's a word I don't see often enough, but also a word I enjoy seeing a lot.

"And all you have to do is watch a short advertisement before your show streams in HD." my friend continued, oblivious of the effect his words were having on me.

Of course, as a man of the world, I had my doubts about my friend's words. How can such a fantastic deal exist? FREE HD STREAMING OF MOVIES, DRAMAS, DOCUMENTARIES and OTHER THINGS? People who heard this 10 years ago probably scoffed at the absurdity of it all, before returning to watching reruns of Friends on TV.

So I made a short trip down to the offices of Bento Live to find out for myself whether this amazing deal existed or not. The first thing I saw in the Bento Live office was this huge 72" Samsung smart TV staring at me right in the face. I couldn't have missed it; it was the size of a minibus. I don't know how you feel about having a 75" smart TV sitting right in front of you, but it's honestly overwhelming. 


I mean, just look at the selection available to you.


The selection of movies were mostly TV channel stuff, ranging from raging volcanoes in Vegas to tornadoes in Toronto. There were also quite a bit of horror movies, because horror movies are universal. They also had a pretty good lineup of dramas, comedies and documentaries for people who like that kind of stuff. But that's not what drew me to Bento Live. What drew me was the fact that they had freaking 2 seasons of Mega Man the anime. FOR FREES!


And because Mega Man is such an old series, I wasn't expecting them to have HD quality. But Bento Live surprised me when it showed a clear HD quality episode of Mega Man. It was honestly one of the most insane things to trigger my childhood. Ever.


Bento Live is available for download on the Samsung Smart TV (all sizes and not just the 75" one, don't worry!). Don't have a smart TV but would very much love to use Bento Live? No problem! The Android app is available for FREE if you have a Samsung device (downloadable on the Samsung app store) or for the low price of RM6.50 on any other smart device.

But of course, TV should be watched on a TV. The Samsung Smart TV is a pretty good bet (it literally wows) and it runs Bento Live pretty well. Check out the commercial and see if you don't want to immediately rush to get one: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lT4YLGqWqI

Of course, not all of us have the means of getting a smart TV. That's where Bento Live comes into play (literally). See, Bento Live is giving away 2x Samsung 40” Smart TVs once a month, which is 2x the chances of you winning one for yourself.

All you have to do is follow these few easy steps:

i. Register an account on bentolive.com
ii. Like the Bento Live Facebook page (facebook.com/bentolivevod)
iii. Share the contest post (it's right at the top of the page)
iv. Write a comment about your favourite movie on Bento Live.
v. Wait for the good news of your victory (y'know, if you win)


It's incredibly simple right? #waitwhat

If you really can, try out Bento Live. Trust me, you won't regret it.

Cheerios!
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Monday, April 14, 2014

5 Best Yoo Jae-suk Solo Wins on Running Man


The Nation's MC began his Running Man career as a pushover, someone who would warm the jail seats early into the episode (along with Suk-jin and Kwang-soo). But as he got more accustomed to Running Man, he quickly became one of the most efficient players among all the members, and he's racked up a pretty good number of wins over the years.

Here are 5 of Yoo Jae-suk's best solo wins on Running Man.

Note: Jae-suk has won quite a bit when he's in different teams. The 5 wins listed below is when there is an individual race (unless otherwise stated).

#5 Rise of Yooruce Willis (Ep 13)


This may not be a "solo" win, per say, but it is one of Jae-suk's finest moments in singlehandedly winning the Bells Hide and Seek game for his team. And he did it even though he was caught by the Commander and the Two Kids, shaking them off despite being surrounded on all sides and running for all his might to win. That moment of victory was when Yooruce Willis was born.


#4 Return of Yoomes Bond (Ep 91)


Yoomes Bond first picked up his water gun back in episode 38 when he eliminated all the other members. A year and plenty of episodes later, the members were swifter, more agile and had more experience in the ways of Running Man, and Yoomes Bond's task was made that much harder. Pile in the epic fight Jae-suk had to go through against the Commander, who broke out of his cell TWICE, and you have one of the more memorable Yoomes Bond solo victories.


#3 War of the Gods (Ep 100)


The milestone episode of Running Man was also one of, well, godly proportions. There were gods and their weaknesses, and a lot of scrambling around to figure out who was who and their respective weaknesses. Poseidon-Yoo's weakness was ironically, water, and the "battle" between him and Gary at the end is one of the funniest final matches in Running Man history. The editing tries to make it seem very dramatic and explosive, but you won't be able to stop laughing. Trust me.


#2 Yoomes Bond's Revenge (Ep 140)


The world is struck by the Angry Virus, and someone is pinning the blame to our favorite water gun toting hero, Yoomes Bond. He doesn't take this lying down, of course, and starts to solve the mystery in a classic whodunit fashion, armed with his trusty water gun. The fact that he managed to pull off a win by knowing the scent of Ace Ji-hyo's perfume (he's done this a lot in the past) and quickly surprising her with a water gun counter-attack was the perfect cherry on top of his victory cake.


#1 Yoo Who Came From The Star (Ep 185)


The Running Man parody of the hit drama, You Who Came From The Star (or the thousands of other names it has on the Internet), was what you would expect a Running Man parody to be; full of hilarity, lots of character reenactment, and Jae-suk in a wig. Yes, the Nation's MC was playing the role of Cheon Song-yi, and playing her with aplomb. The final battle saw the evil Kim Jong-kook tearing off Do Min Ha's nametag and rounding on the helpless (?) Song-yi. In a twist of fate, Song-yi managed to tear off the Commander's nametag and even gets to take the entire spaceship to fly off to the stars. Victory achieved.


Which Jae-suk victory is your favorite? Leave a comment below!

By the way, if any of you are interested to contribute an article for Running Mondays, please do leave a comment below or email me at joelwjm@gmail.com. I'm looking for a couple of passionate Running Man writers to collaborate for an upcoming Running Mondays project.

Cheerios!
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Saturday, April 12, 2014

The Comedic Genius Behind the Worst Singapore Tourism Ad Ever

I love watching advertisements on the Internet. For every heart-rending, soul-crushingly meaningful ad lies a few which don't know what any of those words mean. These ads are so terrible on first viewing that they go viral because people love sharing and ridiculing horrible things online. One such example I stumbled upon recently was an ad done by Singapore's Tourism Board to promote Singapore as a unique travel destination.

Someone at the Singapore Tourism Board decided to do something different, something that would draw in the tourists like bees to honey. What resulted was a tourism ad that insulted the intelligence of everyone who watched it for the first time. But after multiple rewatchings (a chance all terrible ads must be given), this ad turns into one of the most brilliant comedic videos I've seen in a while.

Watch the video here before reading the rest of this post. It will make more sense.



Here's why.

The Plot


A tourism ad usually doesn't require any sort of a plot or story, but that didn't stop the creative minds behind the ad to try breaking that convention.  The plot is straightforward. A married couple takes a trip to Singapore for their anniversary, where he hits the motherlode (sorry, I couldn't resist). In between their lovey doveyness, Singapore's metal trees and indoor parks are featured prominently. It's the stuff comedy is made of.

The Dubbing

There is a lag.

...is terrible. It's like the two actors aren't even trying to speak normally. But then again, that could be intentional because I laughed too hard whenever the couple has a "conversation" that doesn't involve the lady saying "LOOK HONEY!" and pointing off into the horizon. Plus, old Chinese comedies had terrible dubbing but was still funny as heck. I'll be damned if this ad doesn't successfully pull it off to draw in the laughs.

The "LOOK HONEY!"


"Honey, LOOK!" the lady exclaims as the camera pans to...nothing in particular. "Honey, let's go there!" as the lady pulls her husband to...nowhere.


This ad has so many "Look Honey"s that it should legally be renamed as such. This happens because the director needed a chance to showcase the beauty of Singapore without veering too far away from the main plot. The effect is astonishingly hilarious.




The Champagne Glass


...is probably magic.


The TWIST


One of the hallmarks of a great film lies in the twist; a shocking revelation at the end which catches the audience by surprise. The best kind of twist endings is when absolutely nothing has prepared you for the twist; no clues, no shots of anything hinting at a twist. I would say that everyone was pretty shocked by the Shyamalansque twist ending in the STB ad where *SPOILERS*, the lady announces her pregnancy by presenting her man with a pregnancy test disguised as an anniversary gift.


You don't even have to watch the video to laugh at that sentence.

The Man


Comedy depends strongly on the actors' body language, sometimes even more than the spoken word. The man in this ad is a perfect example of how you do comedy solely through body language. Every single time his wife does or say something, it takes him approximately 3 seconds to come up with the proper facial expression. Just look at his face here when he opens up the watch case to a positive pregnancy test.


I've watched this scene close to 10 times now and my stomach still hurts every time. Do you think words can ever replicate this sort of comedy?


If you cringed the first time you watched this video, now's the time to watch it a few more times. Trust me, by the 4th rewatching, you'll be rolling in the floor laughing. 

Cheerios!
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